Well, up... ish. I'm working on it, dammit! Index: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Syd Lexia on Crystalis It is the 20th anniversary of End DAY, so let's speak about Crystalis. This text continues to be below development.

Christmas at Kris Lexias: Beauty and the Beast Style Kris Lexia opinions Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas WARNING: This text contains prolonged dialogue about massive organs.

Random Musings: The Legend of Zelda Syd pontificates on the primary Legend of Zelda recreation, about nothing in particular. In loving memory of Raymond Scott Bishop, 1993-2014.

Ten Years: A Retrospective In honor of the location's tenth anniversary, here is a 50,000 word retrospective. That, or it's a Kris Lexia article about Neopets toys from McDonalds.

Kris Lexia's Snackoween Spooktacular And now for something completely totally different, this is Syd's sister consuming Halloween-themed foods. Also featured inside: ghosts. (Probably not.)

Syd Lexia on Abadox Abadox is the story of a design workforce's bizarre eye fetish. This is not a joke. Also featured inside: ghosts.

Pong: Violent, Sexist, and Vile Sexism in video video games is kind of the recent-button situation. We should battle it. One downside: how do you combat a video sport tradition that's almost as previous as video video games themselves?

Bart's Nightmare: A Review By Valdronius Bart's Nightmare is, if nothing else, a fairly pretty sport. To find out if it is nothing else, strive reading this assessment by Valdronius.

Nine Simple Truths That Mega Man Proved Wrong There are issues you understand that are not as often called you already know them to be. Mega Man's adventures on the NES will educate you this. Question Everything.

Super Mario CCD: Legend Of The Seven Deadly Sins In accordance with the Catholic Church, there are Seven Deadly Sins that one can commit. Super Mario, typically cited as a paragon of advantage, is responsible of all of them.

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NES Launch '85: A Have a look at The primary Games For The Nintendo Entertainment System The Nintendo Entertainment System simply turned 25 years previous. In celebration of this large anniversary, this is a glance again on the system's launch games.

DuckTales Is Impossible And Reality As We all know It is A giant Fucking Lie You most likely remember Capcom's DuckTales recreation for the NES as being actually fun and pretty easy. Well, it wasn't. It was unimaginable. Also: reality is a lie.

Syd Lexia vs. The Addams Family Cereal This article is dedicated to the dearly departed Raul Julia, who performed Gomez in the only two Addams Family films that matter. Hopefully I'll be seeing him quickly.

Syd Lexia vs. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal Jesus Christ. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal. Seriously? I actually don't wish to eat this.

Syd Lexia vs. Slimer And The real Ghostbusters Cereal When I'm consuming expired cereal, in your neighborhood... who ya gonna call? THE PARAMEDICS!

Syd Lexia vs. Bill & Ted's Excellent Cereal Hey, I bet you will not dare me to eat some cereal from 1990. Go ahead, dare me. Come on! Whatever, I'm gonna do it anyway.

10 Things On The NES That I really Didn't Need to See Because Ryan's naked ass was one naked dude ass too many. WARNING: May contain cat anus.

The a hundred Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever You've waited patiently for the following epic list from SydLexia.com. Finally, here it is. The one hundred Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever!!!

His Name Is Rob Paulsen. Your favorite cartoon characters can't converse for themselves. They're voiced by real individuals with actual names. The man who voiced Yakko Warner has a name. His name is Robert Paulsen.

Happy Birthday/Anniversary Emily! Three years, child! Your mother and father said we'd by no means make it, but we did it! WE FUCKING DID IT! Just kidding. This is Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 7.

Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 6 Just as Are You Afraid of the Dark? returned after a hiatus in 1999, Lessons Learned has returned after a hiatus in 2009. Get prepared for the learniest classes you will ever learn. Also INSIDE: Elisha Cuthbert consuming a sandwich.

Metroid: A Blind Run By Valdronius Up until recently, Valdronius had never performed the original Metroid. We will both kill him, or read about his blind run of the game. I like Valdronius, so why don't we at the least give the non-murder choice an opportunity?

Syd Lexia on All Night Nippon Super Mario Bros. For his one hundredth article, Syd critiques a uncommon Mario title that was designed as a promotional merchandise for a Japanese radio program. In this sport, Mario rescues All Night Nippon DJs from King Koopa, with a little assist from his trusty Star of David. No, severely.

A Salute To PrintMaster Plus 2.Zero Back in the great previous days, print shop applications had been leading edge expertise. Nowadays, it's a must to be borderline retarded to buy one. This article is about the great previous days.

Come To The Dark Side, We now have Cookies. In this exercise, I eat a field of Star Wars Cookies from 1983 and see what occurs. Three years later, I die of most cancers. Scientists attribute my loss of life to "being a whole fucking idiot".

Contra: The Man's Guide To Fucking Like A Porn Star What better approach to comply with Valdronius than with an article comparing Contra to sexual intercourse? This analogy isn't at all obtuse. That is the greatest thing I've ever written.

Impossible Mission: The Story Of A Research Paper In response to Valdronius, playing the traditional Commodore sixty four game Impossible Mission is a lot like writing a analysis paper. Personally, I believe him. Test it out.

Who Watches The Watchmen? This is both a evaluate of the best graphic novel ever written, or a evaluation of some Game & Watch games. Either approach, a few of you will be disillusioned.

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